Foreword
After the death of Minnie Ray Gwinn I became the unofficial family historian and gained possession of many of her personal papers. Among these was a diary, given by Leila and Woodrow Walters as a Christmas gift to Leonard C. Gwinn in 1938. Leonard Gwinn kept this diary through the year 1939, a very traumatic year in his life and a year that changed the lives of everyone in his family. He spent that entire year as a pulmonary tuberculosis patient in Pinecrest Sanitarium at Beckley, West Virginia. The diary is interesting to me, personally, because it reveals so much of our father's personality and because it is also a record of part of my life. I believe that knowing our parents helps us to understand ourselves a little better.
At the time this diary was written I was too young to understand my parents (do any of us, ever?) and only recently have become aware of the pain they must have endured during this time. It also, of course, records a part of Marshall's and Joel's lives, and they are often mentioned in it. Jon, of course, has no memories of this time, and probably not many memories of his father. I decided to transcribe the diary so that it could be shared among us, and preserve a memory of our father for all of us.
The diary also provides many insights into the treatment of tuberculosis at that time, especially from the patient's point of view. In the 1930's, TB was a plague almost as dreadful as AIDS is today, since there was really no cure for it and the mortality rate was very high: 200 per 100,000 persons per year at the beginning of the 20th century. After World War II, with the development of the "miracle drugs," both the mortality rate and the incidence of infection were reduced dramatically, so that by 1961 the mortality rate was only 5.4 per 100,000 persons per year, and the specially built tuberculosis hospitals, or sanitar- iums s were rapidly being closed or converted to other uses. But in 1939, when the diary was being written, the disease was on the increase, so much so that two new wings were built at Pinecrest that year.
This disease disrupted our entire family, and changed our lives forever. Though Jon was not yet born at the time TB struck the family, his life was affected by our father's early death and the resulting hardship this brought to our mother. Leonard Gwinn was a young man when this diary written, only 38, with small children, mortgage, and all the encumbrances of a young family man. In 1939, he observed his fifteenth wedding anniversary. He was still in love with his wife, and commented that he hoped for at least fifteen more years with her. This was not to be, for he died following lung surgery in 1950, at the age of 49.
Our mother, too, was hospitalized during a part of 1939. The fall before this diary begins, I, too had been taken out of school and put to bed at Grandma Ray's, where all of us were staying after our father became ill. Dad's constant concern was that the disease would spread to the rest of us.
Life in a sanitarium was very much like life in reformatory. Patients earned "privileges" for good behavior. The process of recovery was called "taking the cure". This required, at the beginning, total bed rest. If this resulted in improvement in a patient's condition, after several months, the patient was allowed "ups". "One up" meant he could get out of bed for a brief period once a day. The process proceeded to "full ups", which meant getting up as necessary to go to the bathroom, and being permitted to take showers or baths. The next step was "meals" in the dining room. The last step before being pronounced an arrested case and being allowed to go home was "exercise", which
permitted walks on the grounds outside the building. Progress was determined by xrays every three months, sputum tests, and blood tests. A patient could not be released until his sputum was no longer positive. Every member of the family was required to have periodic xrays.
The life was so boring that even such everyday events as baths and haircuts are mentioned in the diary. There were many rules, and a patient could be expelled; sent home with no promise of being allowed to reenter the hospital if he became worse (see diary entry for July 16).
Doctors were experimenting with surgery and drugs such as sulfanilimide. The surgery often resulted in death, and the drugs were ineffective. Nowadays, a combination of drugs such as myambutol, streptomycin, and others can render the disease non- communicable in as short a time as two weeks, and completely arrest it after several months. Fortunately, Leonard Gwinn escaped the surgery, and after about two years was well enough to go home and resume work for nearly ten years before his death. To me, his diary reveals a strong personality which helped him survive this hospitalization and the other trials of this year. His sense of humor and his religious faith seem to bring him out of the occasional bouts of despair and depression which were natural enough in his situation. He was articulate, somewhat romantic and sentimental, idealistic, and even poetic on occasion(see entry for July 16). He loved people and enjoyed company. Visits from relatives and his family, particularly his brothers and sisters and their families, helped pass the long days. Many of his visitors were railroad men or church people from Quinnimont and Hinton. George Ballard, husband of Minnie's cousin Lucy, was financial secretary at Pinecrest then, and they were very kind and helpful. Byrda Snedegar, Minnie's niece, was a nurse there. His brothers Carl, Wallace, and Laban and his sisters, Leila and Lena, were frequent visitors. Friends, family, and faith strengthened our father through those difficult days. May they also help us in the trials life brings to us all.
Leona G. Brown
May 1, 1988
January
January 1
Weather: Clear and warm
I am resolved that during 1939: 1. I will cheerfully accept circumstances as they are and by obeying prescribed treatment will do all in my power to get well. 2. I will submit my own will to a higher one and by study, reading and prayer, seek to find answer to that inward urge not now understood, and will obey whatever "still small voice" is heard. Minnie came at 3 pm. Not decided whether to return to Renick or come back to Hinton. Food fine and dandy.
January 2
Weather: Cool-fair
A new nurse, Miss Witt on duty this month. Mrs. Riggs on as charge nurse. Ruark made rounds. He is a new Dr on permanently for new Building. Margaret Corker returned to work as dietician. She inquired about me and sent me word she was glad I was better and gaining weight. The "Rail" came with much railroad news of interest.
January 3
Weather: Fair and sunny
They changed my bath days to Tue and Friday so got my bath this am. Dr. Gwinn made rounds. Miss Adams, a niece of J.C. Adams, is on this floor this month. She came in and told me who she was. Feeling fine. Slight dry cough today.
January 4
Weather: Fair
Dr. Kelly made rounds and I asked about Joe's X Ray. Said a slight infection but could go on to school. Letter from Minnie said she had decided to stay at Renick. Letter from Danny. Got an order for cough syrup and got a dose at 8 pm.
January 5
Weather: Cloudy warm
Dr. Kelly made rounds. Good letter from Carl and one from CC Corker with check for $2.00 My cough continues and is very hateful and annoying. So hard on my throat and chest.
January 6
Weather: Clear-cool
Dr. Ruark made rounds and I asked for aspirin for my head. Had headaches all night and temp. was 100 at 7 am. 99.4 at 3 pm. Letter from LMB and m.o. for $2.00. Felt very bad all day. Oil at 8 pm.
January 7
Weather: Clear-cool
Dr. Gwinn made rounds. Letters from Momma, Mona and Insurance Co. Feeling much better all day. Able to eat full meals. Mrs. Carey Neely, Nora Nile, and Lee Payne's daughter came at 7:00 pm for about 5 mins. Mr. Armstrong died 6:30 am.
January 8
Weather: Clear cool
Minnie came at 10 am and 3 pm. It is like a good tonic for her to come. Felt good all day. Dr. Ruark made rounds. Saw Dr. Gwinn about 8 pm. Showed him Ins. letter and asked him not to move me to private room. Wrote letter to Ins. Co. to get George to copy in am.
January 9
Weather: Cool and sunny
Got George to copy letter and I mailed it. A very quiet day. Dr. Ruark made rounds. Wrote several "thank you" letters for Xmas gifts. Felt good all day.
January 10
Weather: Fair-warm
Dr. Ruark made rounds. Card from Walter Miller in C. Forge Hospital. A very quiet day. Bath in am and feeling fine. Throat a wee bit sore so quit talking.
January 11
Weather: Clear-cool
Dr. Gwinn made rounds. Letter from Ins. Co. with forms to fill out. Wrote Minnie to come Sun. so could fill out. Card from Elsie. Dr. Gwinn filled out Ins. blank.
January 12
Weather: Cloudy-cool
Dr. Ruark made rounds. Letter from Lena and Othor. Carl, Mary, Nelson and Aunt Ella came about 3:45 pm. Had been to McKendree and came back via "DW" to get Nelson- Hodge went for X Ray.
January 13
Weather: Stormy cold & snow
Mr. Cottrell died at noon today. His wife with him last night. Mr. McClung very bad off. Hodge got news his father in bad shape in Hospital. Bath in am and felt good all day. My cough better so quit getting cough medicine at night.
January 14
Weather: Cold-windy snow on ground
Dr. Kelly back and made rounds. Letter from Ins. Co. asking more reports from Hospitals. A truly quiet day. Mable and Wallace and Mrs. Reed came at 7 pm. Brought cocoa and cakes. Also stamps and postals.
January 15
Weather: Med. fair
Dr. Gwinn made rounds. Wrote Dr. Vest and Dr. Watson for Case History, Diagnostic, and Operative reports. Sent Ins. papers to Minnie. Felt good. No visitors. Bit hoarse.
January 16
Weather: Snow-cold Psalm 124-8
Dr. Ruark made rounds. Mrs. J. W. Kiser, wife of General Sec'y ORT from St. Albans in to at 3 pm. She is a nice friendly woman. My throat a bit sore. Feel fine. Wrote Carl and some cards. Dreamed I was with Minnie last night, This is always a welcome and sweet dream.
They January 17
Weather: Fair & cold
Forest Claypool, his wife, his mother and wife's mother all came at 3 pm. brought fruit and 3 boxes of candy from Lena and John. So glad to get the peppermint it is good for my throat. Felt real well all day. Except for a slight throat trouble I feel perfectly well.
January 18
Weather: Cold-wind and snow
Another sweet dream of being with "mother" last night. So sweet and real I have always loved her so much but she seems more than precious now. Lots of folks in today to see Hodge's carving. D Gwinn, Kelly, Miss Ball and others. Don't think I ever felt any better in my life. "I can do all things thru Christ" my verse today.
January 19
Weather: Cold & snow
Carl and Uncle George over at 3pm. brought fruit and Carl gave me $1.00 A quiet day. Felt good but a bit blue.
January 20
Weather: Snow-warmer
Bath in am, Just a wee bit sick at stomach. Two letters from Minnie. One written 13th and delayed. That explains why I didn't hear and was blue yesterday. A very quiet day. Quite a bit of sputum but felt very well. "Fret not thyself".
January 21
Weather: Fair & warmer
Mrs. Whit off sick, she is our nurse. Well of all the glad surprises! Minnie came walking in at 3 pm! Like letting the shade up in a dark room and the sun flowing in! I only wish she knew what a help she is! and how I love her! With me again at night. Filled out Ins. papers for Home Life and also pension papers. Found out my blood count is 27. Was 22 when I came here.
January 22
Weather: Wind and snow-Bad day
Minnie with me again! Talked with her of future plans and told her I wanted to go home if I could not get well. About 12:45 pm reached a great decision! I believe I will get well and do at least a few years of Christian work! I should have been doing this since '22 and certainly since '30 altho' I have not lived as I should. Minnie with me again. Went to Hx with Branchfords.
January 23
Weather: Clear-cold
Slept good last night but felt sick at stomach this am and all day. Dr. Kelly said he was going to shoot me if I didn't quit talking. But no shots fired. A too quiet day. Max cut my hair at 6 pm. I felt faint and hot then cold sweat. Had to lay down and rest twice.
January 24
Weather: Cool cloudy & rain
Bath in am. Dr. Gwinn made rounds. Wrote Leona & boys a letter and addressed with verse. Sick at stomach a bit but eat full meals. Little cough or sputum but extremely nervous.
January 25
Weather: Cold, windy & snow
Letters from Leona, Minnie, Momma and Lena. Felt much better than usual all day. Minnie said a good day Monday at Charleston. Played a joke on Mrs. Riggs by sending her an egg in a big box.
January 26
Weather: Wind & cold
Dr. Gwinn made rounds. Letter from Leona and "mother" Weighed 178, Gain 5 1/2 in Jan. gain of 19 1/2 since I came here and of 23 1/2 since I lay off. Felt good all day. Laban and Adalyn came at 7:30 pm in heavy snow.
January 27
Weather: Cold wind and snow
Good bath and felt excellent all day. No cough but a bit of sputum. Wish it would stop. Then I could feel like the cavity was closing. Letter from Carl.
January 28
Weather: Cold-cloudy
Entirely too quiet a day. No mail or visitors. Felt real well all day.
January 29
Weather: Rain
Letter from Minnie and Elsie. Wallace came at 3 pm and took my radio to get it fixed. Felt real good all day and almost no sputum. Everything looks to be encouraging.
January 30
Weather: Cloudy
Miss Persley our nurse this am and for next month. Miss Burette charge nurse. My radio still away. Borrowed Roy's but it is no good. Feel fine today. Some sputum but not as much as usual. Started to lay brick on new building.
January 31
Weather: Cloudy & wind
An extra fine day! The new nurse really "scrubbed my hide" for a good bath. Letter from Minnie and copy of Ins. letter said $450 paid. Boy, what good news! Feeling tops. 0il at 8:30 pm.
February
February 1
Weather: Cloudy
Miss Parker came back as charge nurse so Persley goes to first floor and Miss Burette is our nurse now. three months ago today I went to bed at Mt Regis. No it was three months yesterday. Wasn't it? Feel real good. My eyes bother me tho and I am nervous.
February 2
Weather: Cloudy
Carl, Mary and Rosalie over at 3 pm brought fruit. Also mail inc. Telegrapher and Dispatcher. Wallace and Mable over at 7 pm brought radio back. Sure glad to get it. Rec'd $20 check from Home Life Ins. Co. Feel fine.
February 3
Weather: Rain
Good bath this am. Miss Corker in to see us. Felt fine all day. Lots of rain, fog and gloomy weather. Sleeping better and more soundly at night.
February 4
Weather: Cloudy & cool Clear in pm.
Letter from Cecil G. Entirely too quiet all day. Feel excellent.
February 5
Weather: Clear
Minnie came at 10 am & 7pm. Went to Mullins with Til in pm. Mrs. Lovelace in 3 pm. Til came with Minnie at 7 pm. Susie in Raleigh Gen not expected to live. Leach and Anna Mae in at 7:45 pm. Making plans to get house or rooms and move here when school is out. Feel fine.
February 6
Weather: Cloudy
Susie Houk, Lucy's sister died at Raleigh Cen this am- Started sputum test this am and negative first cup, so got cup for am. Letter from Mt. Regis with check for $11. Letter from Sam H. Felt fine all day. Mr. Seldomridge sent quart grape juice.
February 7
Weather: Cloudy and warm
Bath first then taken to Exam, room and Exam by Dr. Ruark. Turned my bed have been looking at closet door for two months. Got third cup for sputum test so this means negative for two tests. Felt good all day.
February 8
Letter from Minnie said she was going to Baltimore this am with Mary to take Rosalie there. She has been at Carl's for a week or more taking treatment. Wrote Minnie all I could about house. Feeling fine today. Got fourth cup so am still negative.
February 9
Weather: Rain
Went for Xray today. In here three months tomorrow. Got fifth cup for sputum test today. This is all cups we get so if no bugs in fifth cup I will be shown negative. Saw Bennett today and he is looking fine.
February 10
Weather: Rain
Bath in am. I have been in this bed three months today. Mrs. Snuffer on duty and I asked about the house. She will find out more for me. My throat feels sore down below larynx. Does not bother me talking but am going on silence in am. again for safety.
February 11
Weather: Clear and cold
Asked Dr. Ruark about my Xray but he had not seen it. Hodge was given ten minutes on first exercise. Wallace came at 3 pm. and got his checker board so Hodge got his first money from carving. Wallace said he got his car damaged in wreck.
February 12
Weather: Clear & cool
Dr. Gwinn said my Xray looked good and cavity was closing up. This gives me new hope and more determination. Dr. Jarrell also in . Looked at Hodge's carving.
February 13
Weather: Clear
A very quiet uneventful day. Felt excellent all day. Dil at 8 pm.
February 14
Weather: Cloudy
Traded beds with Hodge on acct. of springs and crank-up. Got good bath also. Found out all five sputum tests were negative. Minnie came at 3 and 7. Our wedding anniversary. She is by far the best girl on earth and grows sweeter every day! I only wish I was half way worthy of her! So jolly! That "Jitter-bug dancer" on the paddle! A fellow would have to get well with that girl around!
February 15
Weather: Snow
Dr. Gwinn made rounds. Glad Minnie didn't stay over since the weather is terrible out. Wrote John and Lena. Feel good.
February 16
Weather: Pretty day
Miss Burdette off sick. Hodge went to town to buy a coat. A pretty day and I feel good. Mable and Wallace came at 7:30 pm. brought Listerine and writing pads and a Valentine box of candy. They have certainly been good to me.
February 17
Weather: Clear
Miss Burdette still off and Mrs. Parker gave my bath. A quiet day- Letters from Minnie and Othor and a card from Rev. Billings.
February 1 8
Weather: Clear
Today was practically a blank among the pages of time. Feel well.
February 19
Weather: Clear
A card from "mother". Stanley Sweet, Iris and Jeanette's girl came in pm. Felt good all day but I'm beginning to wonder about all this! Is all this inactivity good for one? Oh yes Drs. should know but do they? Didn't they think they were doing their best when they bled George Washington to death?
February 20
Weather: Clear
In the "coop" four months today. No mail, no company, no nothing. Just another blank day= I'm getting well fed and cared for and $4.00 per day for staying in this bed. If I was not I would sure be blue. But after all I must get well and nature can heal me here as good as anywhere.
February 21
Weather: Cloudy and warm
A note from my "Girl", She is at Williamsburg. Leona over there with her: Pleasant out these days. After all wouldn't an easy chair under a tree with a good book do just as much good? Oh well, I'm healing. I can feel it in my "Bones" that I'm getting well. The old Greek known to all as "preacher" died today.
February 22
Weather: Cold and snow
Another quiet day. Felt good but slightly blue. It wouldn't do to be out today. If I had any way to know for sure that the kiddies would be well and that I could come back here OK I would leave the babies with my Bros and Minnie and I would go west for a two year "Honeymoon".
February 23
Weather: Fair and cold
Carl and Mary in at 3 pm. Brot fruit and gum. Carl doesn't think I should aim to buy here. Thinks I can live in Hinton as well when out. He doesn't oppose us moving here for the present. Mr. O. J. Smith of Land Co. in also.
February 24
Weather: Cloudy
Asked Dr. Ruark and got permit for a hair cut. Weighed at 3 pm. and a gain of 8 1/2 lbs. Now 186 1/2. I am going to cut my meals down a bit. A quiet day. Felt real well.
February 25
Weather: Cloudy
Dr. Gwinn in this am. asked about my throat. Letter from Minnie. I'm always glad to hear from her. She is always sweet and a trusting soul. I only wish I could have the steady unquestioning faith that she has.
February 26
Weather: Fair-windy
A letter from Lena said they had bought me a typewriter. Wallace & Mable also Iris and Jeanette's girl in at three pm. All cheerful and bright. Made it a very pleasant day. When my throat is perfectly safe I think I will enjoy company and it will seem to shorten my stay here.
February 27
Weather: Clear
Dr. Kelly made rounds. Mamma and Lee came at 3 pm. Glad to see them. They looked well and said all were better at home. Silas brought them but didn't come in . Another very pleasant day and felt real well. Max cut my hair at 6 pm and I felt real well sitting up and didn't feel sick like before.
February 28
Weather: Clear
Mr. Corella in no. 7 died at B:15 am. The typewriter Lena sent came this am. It is surely a light and nice little one. If I can learn to use it ok I will be able to pass a lot of time with it. I have several plans for it if I can use it ok. Furniture came for new building.
March
March 1
Weather: Cloudy
Drs. Ruark and Gwinn around this am. Moving furniture in new building today. Get a lot of good from radio story entitled "Life Can Be Beautiful", I wonder if it really always can. Carl, Mary, Janelle and Charles came at 7 pm with large basket of fruit from Verna Abrams class.
March 2
Weather: Clear
Five men from this floor given phrenic operations today: Rogers, Calfee, Nelson, Phillips and Long. All old timers here. Four more for tomorrow. Setting up furniture in new building. Men going fast with the brick work on new building.
March 3
Weather: Clear
Bath put off to Sat. acct. nurse too busy. Mrs Cromer and three other ladies from Hinton came. Brought a nice box of fruit but I already had too much so sent it up to Charlie Bennett. Mr & Mrs Fox from Rainelle came. Left their son in Bennett's room. They know Russ. The son came in for a phrenic and hemorrhaged so they left him here.
March 4
Weather: P. C.
A quiet day. Beat Hodge most all of several games of Chinese checkers. Our nurse off to special Woodrow Ball. Bad off from rib operation. Letter from L. M. B.
March 5
Weather: Rain
Minnie came at 10, 3, and 7 and made it a wonderful and happy day. More and more I learn to love her with all my soul, mind, heart, and body and daily I realize what a great and wonderful love she has for me. These are precious moments with her at my side my heart overflowing with love and desire for her. Mr. Hatcher came at 7:30 pm for a few min. Also Byrda came back.. op
March 6
Weather: P.C. & very windy
A very peaceful and happy day. Listened to WJLS which opened yesterday. A very Felt excellent, hopeful and happy.
March 7
fine station. Weather: Clear-wind Good bath in am. A jolly, pleasant but uneventful day. A thot from Radio Program "Life Can Be Beautiful", The thought "Your life is not your own." It is a stock co. in which all your family and friends are stock holders."
March 8
Weather: Clear
A Mr. Hicks from Spring Hill came in am. as a new patient and a man from McKendree Hosp. in pm. Nell had been his nurse at McKendree. Wallace, Mable, and Miss Read came at 7pm. They brought fruit and other eats. A very good day.
March 9
Weather: Wind and clear
Mr. Hicks who came yesterday died about 6 am. A "boss" for orderlies on duty today. Hodge left 10 am for a visit home.
March 10
Weather: Warm cloudy
A good bath this am. A letter from Minnie and a rabbit's foot from Dan Stevenson. Am entirely too quiet today. "Shinny" said to be sure to write in here that she came to see me tonight. In this bed four months today.
March 11
Weather: Rain & Cloudy
Byrda our charge nurse today. A very quiet, cloudy and rainy day. No visitors and no mail.
March 12
Weather: Rain
BLANK! And when a day is blank it is 48 hours long.
March 13
Weather: Cloudy
BLANK
March 14
Weather: Clear
Good bath in am. "Tommy" off so a young man took blood test. A real pretty day and very pleasant and happy. Letter from Minnie and Joe. Always so welcome. Bateman left for Chville 8 am in an ambulance.
March 15
Weather: Cloudy
A very quiet but fairly pleasant day.
March 16
Weather: Cloudy
Letters from Minnie, Leona, and Leach. I asked for 3rd at BJ. Found out blood count was 14. A gain of 13 points.
March 17
Weather: Wind, snow, cold
Jimmy and some friends from Rainelle over. Some of them to see the Fox boy. Same old Jim, a fine boy. A very good day. Letter from Minnie.
March 18
Weather: Clear
Leona came at 3 pm. Looking good and fat. Minnie came at 7. So happy again to see both of them. Minnie had been to Charleston with Anna Mae. Talked of plans to move here April 1.
March 19
Weather: Clear
Minnie and Leona with me again. A very pleasant morning. Leona pleased over $1 she had received for a poem-"Trails"-She wrote me a copy and it was real good. Minnie is so very sweet and precious to me--but I fear she seemed a bit worried. Leach, Anna Mae, Mrs. Smith, Melissa and Byrda also came.
March 20
Weather: Cloudy
A very quiet peaceful day.
March 21
Weather: Cloudy
Check came from Home Life and sent to bank. Rev. Billings came at 3 pm. Hodge got ten mins. more exercise.
March 22
Weather: Clear
Dr. Gwinn in this am. He says Leona is OK but should not go back to school. Said some cavities heal without operation but could not tell for about six months. Said my other lung was more solid and showed improvement.
March 23
Weather: Clear
Carl and Mary came at 3 pm. We etc. Said Hyde may ask for BJ. Also talked over plans for moving here etc. talked of R. R. jobs, dispatching,
March 24
Weather: Clear
Byrda our charge nurse for this month. A new nurse, Mrs. Eads, on this floor. Miss Burdette still our nurse and I am glad for she is a fine nurse.
March 25
Weather: Clear
Blank
March 26
Weather: Cloudy
"Smokehouse" Gwinn came at 11 am. "Cap" Clendenin, Pat White, "Red" Murray and Silas came at 3 pm. Glad of course to see all the R.R. boys. They will be lots of company while I am here.
March 27
Weather: Rain
Tried to decide about rooms over the store but still not certain. Hodge finished his "what-not". Felt like I was taking a cold. A very good day.
March 28
Weather: Cloudy
Good bath in am. Wrote George note asking about work for Minnie. Seem to have slight cold. Raw nose and some headache.
March 29
Weather: Cloudy
Received $200 check from BMA Ins. Wrote Minnie. Still some cold & not sleeping so good. Talked to Dr. Kelley but said rather not give medicine. Weighed 190 3/4 today. Gain of 4 1/4.
March 30
Weather: Cloudy
Roy (orderly) quit and "Thomas" took his place. My nose still raw and bloody.
March 31
Weather: Cloudy
Hodge went to town to get material to fix small lights for Gail Riggs. Bath in am and nose slightly better but raised some sputum--it's really phlegm from cold, I think.
April
April 1
Weather: Cloudy
Went to Mt. Regis from "HW" five months ago today. (No, it was Oct. 31. Nov 1st was first day at Mt. Regis) Bag of fruit and bottle of nose drops from Carl.
April 2
Weather: Cloudy
A quiet day with nothing of any note happening. Several games of checkers. No mail, no visitors.
April 3
Weather: Cool & windy
Mr. Painter cut my hair 6:30 pm.
April 4
Weather: Clear-cool
Byrda gave my bath this am. acct. Mrs. Riggs off. Rev. Billings came at 3 pm.
April 5
Weather: Fair
Shift in nurses left us without any. Nothing of any note happened. Byrda gave me a shampoo.
April 6
Weather: Cloudy
Letter from Momma. A gloomy, long, rather blue day: Just heard Louise Small is a patient here on 3rd floor, new unit. Wrote her a note.
April 7
Weather: cldy-snow
Minnie and the boys came at 3 pm. Lots of new clothes and Marshall so pleased with his new suit. They went on down home at 4 pm. Wallace and Mable came and they took them on to Mckendree. Lots of fruit from Wallace and Mable. Joe so tickled over "Rocky" the drake and both boys pleased with calf and little chicks.
April 8
Weather: Cloudy
Minnie with me again at 3 and 7pm. So very good to have her with me alone. Talked over ordering the wood carving machine and ordered it. Also pajamas and slippers. Hodge still making and selling lights.
April 9
Weather: Cloudy-cool Snow in am
A very pleasant morning with Minnie alone. She is so good, so understanding, and so very sweet. Carl, Mary and Janelle came at 3 pm. Also Regina, Nelson's girl and we thought they meant Earl's boys girl. Cup from sputum test received. Nell and Estel also came.
April 10
Weather: Clear
Came here 5 mo. ago today. Rev. Hughes of Beckley and Parkinson came at three pm. Mr. Parkinson brought a beautiful lily, potted flower. He is a very fine Christian man. Second sputum cup.
April 11
Weather: Cloudy
"Kitty" back on job and good bath. A very very quiet day.
April 12
Weather: Cold & windy
A blank except for thoughts. They run in questions - Will I get out? I can never hope to be really well, but will I work again? Will Life really be happy again? Or do I live on vain hope? Why did it happen? I know I do not deserve better, but Minnie and the babies are sweet, innocent, and deserve better. It is all a mystery, but will it, could it be a way of blessing in disguise? Perhaps a mystery that will never be solved in this life?
April 13
Weather: Clear-cold
A very quiet day. Listened to my chest with stethoscope. Right side sounds like wind blowing thru screen wire or steam blowing. Guess I'll be headed for Ch'ville before long -- and more rapid recovery or else-- Bateman writes he will be coming back--so he was lucky--if he gets well.
April 14
Weather: Rain
A quiet uneventful day. Last cup of sputum test, so negative again.
April 15
Weather: Cloudy
Byrda gave my bath acct. shortage of nurses. Mrs. C. C. Henson came at 3:30 pm. She is from So. Charleston. We used to rent from her.
April 16
Weather: Clear
Bill Small, William and another "little" Small in to see me 3 pm. Letter from Minnie said school is out May 4th! Lillian some better. Marshall sent me this one--BeD--a "dark-e" (sic) in bed with nothing over him.
April 17
Weather: Cloudy
Blank
April 18
Weather: Clear
Mrs. Riggs back to work from her vacation. Took picture of me standing in room. Letters from Minnie, Joe, Momma and Elsie.
April 19
Weather: Cldy-cool
Our woodcarving machine came but we will send it back. All else blank. Six months ago today I worked my last day on third at Raleigh and six months ago tomorrow I went to Huntington Hospital. Bateman back from Chiville.
April 20
Weather: Clear
A pretty day, but all for nothing. Life is so short at best, and so useless lying here. Oh! how much I would rather be in jail, for I could at least know definitely how long it would be, and could be safe and strong when I get out. But I must look up and be cheerful. "Two men looked through prison bars-- One saw mud, the other stars."
April 21
Weather: Cloudy
A very pleasant day, nothing exciting but felt well and jolly. Ins. check from H.L. S. Poor old Joe Harry Cohen had a sleepless night and kept us awake. Pity for him. Minnie coming back from Renick Sunday to look for a house, and several now in sight.
April 22
Weather: Cold-clear
Wm. Small in to see me again-said Louise was doing fine, but Drs. report said she would be here at least two years:
April 23
Weather: Clear
A beautiful morning and made far more beautiful at 10 am. when my "sunshine" came in to make it a very beautiful and happy day. She i5 always bright, cheerful, and happy. When God gave her to me He gave life's greatest blessing, for what would I do without her now? She is looking for a house here and bless her heart she will find a good place for she knows how I love her so much!
April 24
Weather: Clear
A pretty day for Minnie to look for houses but no luck-no decent places open at reasonable prices. Don't know what we will do but there will be some way. Minnie may be back tomorrow.
April 25
Weather: p.c.
Minnie back at 3 pm. Also Mary and with the sad news that Lillian is dead. Died at 9 am. Too bad, poor girl. Wonder what on earth Frank will do, and those poor babies without a mother. Another of earth's sad, sad wonders. WIsh I could go for the funeral, even if I do feel that a funeral is wrong and an unnecessary ordeal for family and friends.
April 26
Weather: Clear
Wrote George a note, also talked to him about lot and prospects of building a house. Wrote Meadow River for prices. I believe and hope this will work out ok. A pretty pin cushion World's Fair souvenir from Lena and John.
April 27
Weather: Cloudy
Geo. and Lucy went to Renick to Lillian's funeral. Byrda came back with them. I must not even think what loss of a wife and mother means to the family. And I must not question God's wisdom in taking her or in my own disability. Why I can not be with my boys and girl when they mean so much to me and need a Daddy so, and Minnie who is so very precious--I just can't understand it all but I must not grow bitter--it would only be worse.
April 28
Weather: Clear
Another very good day with little going on--our wondering at what the Drs were muttering about etc-- Weighed again. 192 1/2-gain of 1 3/4 more and of 38 lbs. in all. If weight counts I am really going places, and it really does mean a gain, especially since it is not loose flabby fat but real flesh.
April 29
Weather: Clear
Hodge left at 9:30 am. for home-I am glad he is well, of course, but will miss him. There could be better room mates but there could also be much worse. He was jolly and optimistic and that helped, but he was a bit too light headed and without much in common with my own experience. Started taking sulfanilimide so that is what the MD's were talking about Mrs. Bill Small, Mrs. Grover King & another lady in a few minutes at 4 pm.
April 30
Weather: Cldy-wind
Carl- Mary- Aunt Ella & Uncle George all over. Talked to Carl about building a house and he says ok it is a good idea. We will feel around for prices to save all we can but if Carl will stick with me I know it can be done. Several off for home in past few days--Hodge--Rogers--Huston-- Ketchum--Hatfield and more to go soon--they are lucky-Two left feet first-one young man and a woman--poor unfortunate souls.
May
May 1
Weather: Cool
A quiet uneventful day with nothing to write about.
May 2
Weather: Clear
Just as my bath was finished I heard Lowe was moving out of 17 so I hastened to get Dr. Gwinn and permission to move. I thought I would like Clark and that Minnie would like Mrs. Clark. Also some better room and better side of the building. I think I will like it here. Minnie came at 3 pm for only one hour but with good news that she got Endy's rooms. It is all so hard for Minnie but somehow it Mrs. Clark came at night and she seems real nice. I look forward to many happy hours for the four of us.
May 3
Weather: Clear
Mrs. Carey Neely is our nurse since moving and my first bath in new room today. A quiet day.
May 4
Weather: Clear
Note from Mary, also fruit, as they passed on way to McKendree. Letter from Minnie about Tyrees wanting house and wrote her about it.
May 5
Weather: p. c. (sic)
Painter cut my hair at 3 pm. A quiet but very happy day. I am getting very anxious now for Minnie to get moved and be with me. I feel sure I will get well much faster. If I could put on extra speed and get well in two years I wouldn't care so much, and even if Minnie didn't work we could make it by borrowing that long.
May 6
Weather: warm-clr
Went for exam this am. by Dr. Ruark but of course didn't find anything. Mr. Clark in town from ten to three getting teeth fixed. Charlie Kincaid in to see me at 3 pm. Same old Charlie.
May 7
Weather: Clear
Harry Nickel (Nick) Geo. & Ruth Johnson & Rev. Hughes in to see me. Also Clarks had quite a bit of company. Mrs. Clark is very faithful and her visits make me more anxious than ever for "Mudder" to come, I get near impatient waiting at times. It really hasn't been so long since she was here and yet I have seen her one lone hour since April 25th and my choice would have been not to be away from her an hour in that time. Oh, well our day will come, at least we live on that hope.
May 8
Weather: Cloudy
A quiet day with no visitors. No mail--well, just another day.
May 9
Weather: Cloudy
Xray early this am. and Dr. Kelly says my cavity is closed entirely--Boy-O-Boy the best news since my girl said "yes" and speaking of that girl here she came for a real surprise visit. Also my Joe boy. A better more real boy never was born. Minnie went to Til's to see Mr. Bower--crippled several days ago by falling from a horse.
May 10
Weather: Clear
Wrote Sears and Meadow River to see why they didn't answer me. I believe tho I dated letters the 11th. All else quiet. I talked to Dr. Gwinn and he said my cavity is closed he thinks. It is probably just now closed or closing for now and then there are little "pinhead" white bits of sputum probably from there tho it could be from other diseased points. It will all entirely cease in a few days I am sure.
May 11
Weather: Cloudy
Wallace, Mable & Miss Reed came to brighten up the evening- Ice cream, cake, and "oodles" of fruit. They both look well and seem happy even if the mines are down and Wallace not working. How much more pleasant folks on the outside could make it for us if they would only visit more--and yet they are just like I was-- never give the long lonely days a thot for the days are not long or lonely to them. But how different real experience makes it.
May 12
Weather: Clear
And this is my "pal's" birthday. Haven't I gotten a real B. D. present for her, here on my back! But really it's not my fault disease got me, and certainly not my choice. This is a real test for us both, a terrible ordeal very hard to endure. But as for my "pal" I love her more tenderly with each passing day. God only knows why this came and the final result rests with Him. But Minnie, my precious darling girl, let me tell you once more on your birthday I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! Love me and be true my precious and believe that even now the skies are clearing.
May 13
Weather: Cldy-rain
"Big" Walker went home this am. Laban and Adalyn came 7:30 pm with a very beautiful potted flower. I just can't think of the name of it but it is very pretty.
May 14
Weather: Cool
The door opened promptly at ten and the room seemed to fill with sunshine. Love and good cheer as my "girl" came in. Bless her sweet heart I only wish she had the slightest idea of how much I really do love her! My heart aches for her as I write these lines. Mr. & Mrs. Keys came at 3 pm. They are very kindly and friendly folks.
May 15
Weather: Cloudy
Not much doing today. I'm going to use my "noodle" a bit on this T.B. business. I believe a fellow's mental attitude has nearly all to do with success. For this reason I refuse to build up a defeatist atti- tude or to admit or accept a feeling of permanent invalidism. As I see it that is one of the serious failures of a sanitarium. When I feel myself slipping into that gutter I leave here. It will be opposed, but I have a will and I'll be D----ed if I intend to give up.
May 16
Weather: Cloudy
Spent the day in the sun parlor today while they scrubbed our walls. Mrs. Mitchem, Mrs. Bill Small, William, and Warren Richards all in between 7 & 8 pm. They say Louise is doing fine but a bit dissatisfied. I hope she doesn't slip into that "no use to try" feeling so prevalent among T. B.'s. It is more to be fought against than the disease. A fellow has to repeat "I am master of my fate and captain of my soul."
May 17
Weather: Clear
Well, I tho't & thot & then I thot some more about my Ins. I realized if it wasn't paid it would lapse. I got Byrda to call Carl and he came at 3:30 pm. Wrote a check and got him to send a WU money order for it. I hope I sent correct amount and that there will be no failure in it, but maybe I can sleep now knowing it is paid. Letter from Minnie late this pm didn't sound like it has been paid. It surely would have been terrible if it had lapsed.
May 18
Weather: Clear
Blank.
May 19
Weather: Cloudy
Nell came 7 pm with a Miss Simms, a nurse at Mckendree. Nell goes for state board exam Monday. All are better down home.
May 20
Weather: Clear
Looked for Minnie today but she didn't come-guess she'll be here in am-must have been delayed.
May 21
Weather: Clear
Looked for Minnie morn and eve but in vain--and I'll confess I was worried sick-I just couldn't control myself-felt that something terrible must have happened. All foolish, too, for she came at 3:50 pm and again at 7:00 pm. The day really was a disappointment, tho', for I didn't really have her to myself any. I really have been disappointed since school was out May 4th. I hoped she could be with me--now it's 22nd and I have seen her twice for a wee hour each time. Well, she'll soon be here regular I hope.
May 22
Weather: Cloudy
Just another day with only routine matters. But it was at least one more day toward recovery, I hope. Check from Home Life and mailed on to bank.
May 23
Weather: Cloudy
Well, well, the door opened ten to three and a familiar face looked in, then at three she came in for a very pleasant surprise visit. Always so glad to have her with me and so encouraged by her presence. She got another x-ray today.
May 24
Weather: Clear
Our first day outside and as I write this I am really enjoying the beautiful view, first sight of new spring leaves, and the very pleasant cool breeze. I know it will break the monotony and be a real help to a shut in feeling. Surely the lift to the mind as well as fresh air in the lungs will help.
May 25
Weather: Clear
All at once and without mercy fate deals us another blow, and this time direct to the heart. It did seem that our prayers were being heard, but I had so prayed that this, of all cups, might pass from me. But it is true-she has that dread T. B. I can not control my feeling and my thoughts are far better not expressed SO I will say no more.I wanted so to go home but let Carl, Minnie & Mary overpower me. It may be better for her, if so I am glad, but I know it is not best for me.
May 26
Weather: Clear
She came at 3, that trusting, wonderfully sweet and precious girl of mine. Oh, that God could have kept her safe from this disease. For her sake I'll grit my teeth and determine to get well in spite of this terrible thing. There is nothing else to do. If to worry and die would cure her I would gladly do so but it would make her worse. We must get well. I know it would have been better at home if she would stay in bed but she probably would not and this would worry me. I know she will stay in bed here.
May 27
Weather: Cloudy
Well, when a fellow feels so much he just can't talk but I did muster up the courage to say what was on my heart and it must be done that way. I do hate to appear stubborn but my life is at stake and I will fight before I lose it- Minnie, Mary, Mable, Wallace & Miss Read all here. Minnie off to bed after 4:00 pm.
May 28
Weather: Clear
Dr. Gwinn & Kelly came and told me we could visit each other. That lifted part of the load and helps a lot to get hold of myself. Then BMA checks for $225.99 and that is also cheering- VIsitors-Albert Ray-Iris-and Rev. Hughes. Good note from Minnie and she got another x-ray. I am afraid she is worrying quite a bit but she will soon adapt herself to it.
May 29
Weather: Rain
A fairly quiet day, but one of "reconstruction", In spite of the cruelty of fate in dealing such a blow it seems that all that can be done is bear it. Where did I see this: "For all thy days prepare And meet them ever alike, When you are the anvil--Bear, When you are the hammer-Strike."
May 30
Weather: Clear
"Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul Love is the only Angel that can bid the gates unroll And when he comes to call thee, arise and follow fast, His way may lead through darkness but it leads to light at last. " (Henry Van Dyke) "Big" and little Dan S-also Marie in to see us. Marshall and Billy Joe hurt in a bike wreck. Billy Joe pretty bad.
May 31
Weather: Clear
Letters from "Mom" and Russ, Also Leona.
June
June 1
Weather: Cloudy
Reports from Home Life and letter about Minnie's disability. Laban, Adalyn, Marshall and Carl all came. Car 1 fussed at me a bit for getting discouraged, but he just wants to keep me from quitting. He is always good and always means the very best for all. I know too well it is best not to get too blue, but how?
June 2
Weather: Cloudy
Mamma, Elsie, Laban & Adalyn all came. Also Silas. Mamma didn't look so well. Laban took my radio to get it fixed. I do wish something could be done to make things more pleasant but see no way near. It is life's bitterest cup.
June 3
Weather: Rain
Just another ordinary day. Very heavy rain part ofthe day.
June 4
Weather: Clear
Laban, Adalyn, Anna Mae, Leach & Rev. Hughes all came. Out on porch 3:30 to 8:30 pm & enjoyed it. Minnie says Dr. Gwinn claims she is threatened with pneumonia.
June 5
Weather: Clear
A very pleasant evening out on the porch and a nice note from my girl. Life is surely not all satisfactory here but every day is based on a hope that there are better days ahead. If I thought there were no well days ahead I wouldn't even spend the rest of this one here. Above all else in life I have always wanted to be with Minnie and now even that is completely denied me!
June 6
Weather: Clear
A bath this am first since a week ago due to laundry broke down.
June 7
Weather: Clear
Carl, Mary and Marshall came & all seem well. Said furniture was back from Renick. Leila pretty sick. I'm afraid it is T.B. but sure hope not.. I acted a fool and hurt Minnie. Don't see how I can be such a fool when I do love her so. Carl has his new car, a pretty maroon. His was wrecked too badly to repair.
June 8
Weather: Cloudy
Rev. & Mrs. Billings came Shower of cards from Minnie's class for her. Rent from Burton. Too much threat of rain to go to the porch. Miss my radio a lot. Wish they would bring it back.
June 9
Weather: Cloudy
Dr. Ruark in this am, said they recommend a phrenic nerve operation. Told him I would talk to Dr. Gwinn about it. A very precious 30 mins. with the bravest and best girl on earth. Knowing her to be such a wonderful girl I guess I really should be satisfied that God was good enough to give me 15 years with her, but he alone knows how I want another 15 years with her! This was our first visit in here. Melissa was in at three & Ruth Johnson and "Smokeys" girl at 7:15 pm.
June 10
Weather: Cloudy
Clarke left 10 am for the weekend. News came that Minnie also was to have a phrenic. I must talk to Dr. G. for I had hoped she had but little trouble. Evidently she has lots of it.
June 11
Weather: Cloudy-wind
Talked to Dr. Gwinn. He says positively my left lung will stand up o.k. with a phrenic in the right side. I hope he knows and must trust him, I guess. I want to get out of here of course but prefer to go alive. I am getting on ok as it is, so if I fail it should be same as murder. Sherman and Mrs. Huffman--so surprised to see them! Looked well & seemed happy. Clarke back 6:30 pm.
June 12
Weather: Clear
John-Lena-Lee-Leona & the two New York friends came All look well and I hope Leona's next xray is perfect. Poor little sister it must be so hard for her to give up mother and Daddy both.
June 13
Weather: Cloudy
A very quiet and uneventful day. Got sprinkled and run in off the porch.
June 14
Weather: Cloudy
John, Lena, Mamma & Joe & N. Y. friends came. Joe went for an xray. I guess he got it. Talked of plans for boys to go to the fair. I think we should let them go. Joe seemed hurt that we were in here: wanted to know when we would be out. Poor little fellow. I know he misses his Mother and Daddy. If Mother gets out maybe she could get a room and keep Joe. Carl, Mary, Janelle and Ratliff all came at night. Carl said he would not advise me about phrenic.
June 15
Weather: Clear
The "Big Day" downstairs with crowds of M.D.'s and state officials-250 strong. Mable and Wallace came pleased with at night with fruit and drinks. Mable her new job & raise. It surely is fine for her, and I am glad.
June 16
Weather: Clear
Lucy and a friend came at 3:30 pm. Good old Lucy. Helen Keller on WJLS at Lions meeting. Nelson & Ratliff at night. Said Coffman wants to buy DDX house.
June 17
Mrs. Weather: Cloudy Clark evening and night & other Clark friends. My side of the house blank.
June 18
Weather: Good shower
Lou! I wasn't expecting any company. Says they will take good care of Joe boy & Lou agrees with me that Minnie will be as well off at a room out but nearby. Mrs. Fox also in.
June 19
Weather: Rain
And now another jolt. Took my buddy off to the new unit and moved all the "up" patients. Lena, John & friends came at 3:00 pm with nice fruit. Talked of the fair and about decided to ask the boys to wait a year.
June 20
Weather: Cloudy
A quiet day. Lucy with many pretty flowers at 7. Good notes from Minnie each day. She is precious and it seems cruel not even to see her. It is too much of a sacrifice and I will not agree to it after next Sun. if no change then. "Tommy" took blood test.
June 21
Weather: Cloudy
Little of importance-some new patients in. Rev. Hughes & Shaffer in.
June 22
Weather: Cloudy
John & Lena & friends all came. Brought berries from Mom. Said she was going to N.Y. with them. Joe wants to stay down home this summer.
June 23
Weather: Cloudy
Rev. Donnelly in a few mins. at 4 pm. Also Lucy. Only thirty minutes but a precious few minutes with my own sweet girl. The time was so short it seemed only a fleeting fancy or a dream but it at least inspires a fellow to dream again.
June 24
Weather: Cloudy
A quiet day with little of note happening.
June 25
Weather: Clear
Leona at 3 pm looking good except a bit lonely. Also back at 7 pm. Carl, Mary, Janelle & Silas & Mrs. Adams and glad to see all of them. Uncle Boss and his boys in morn. Want the boys to come up there for a while.
June 26
Weather: Clear
Good news from Minnie. Trouble cleared up and two ups. Also weekly visits with me. This is the best news for a long time and will put new pep in me. Mine was at a low ebb.
June 27
Weather: Clear
A new buddy today--Harry Camp from Mammoth--down west of Montgomery. First impression is I will like him ok. News that Leona's xray "looked good" from Minnie. Iris Ray--Christine & friend with lots of daisies--Rev. Shafer also.
June 28
Weather: Cloudy
Rev. Hughes & Shafer in. Harry's mother, brothers & sister came late--delayed in rain.
June 29
Weather: Rain
Little to note today--bath--Dr. Ruark round--regular old routine. No mail-no company-only one cheering note Minnie will be with me tomorrow-even if only for 30 mins.
June 30
Weather:--
Another half hour with Minnie and of course glad to see her but visits will all be disappointing now that we can not be alone. It is a real cruel thing to keep one loved so much away all the time except 30 mins, in public once a week.
July
July 1
Blank
July 2
Weather: Cloudy
Wallace came Sunday for a pleasant visit. Mrs. Walker & Mrs. Woodrum in pm.
July 3
Weather: Cloudy
Blank. Last day for Mrs. Taylor as nurse.
July 4
Weather: Cloudy
Mamma, Carl & Mary at 7 pm & so glad to see all of them. Mom just back from N.Y. & Fair. Independence day--for some but likes a lot of being true for us. A new nurse--Miss Hilda Barbour. Shower of hankies for us from folks at QN.
J u l y 5 Weather: Cloudy Mrs. Clark in for a few minutes at 3 pm. Good news from Minnie and that always means better feelings for me. "There is good in everything" some poet said and if there is good in us both being here it must be her good notes and the better understanding we will have of each other due to the same experience.
July 6
Weather: Cloudy
Good bath, then sweet note from my girl. A glad surprise at 3 pm with Russ, Lou, Leta Mae, Maurice and Mrs. Clark all visiting, It is such a help to have them come. Seems to lift one up and reassure them and help keep on feeling that there are many loyal friends.
July 7
Weather: Cloudy
Blank.
July 8
Weather: Cloudy
July 9
Weather: Cloudy
Melissa in for a few mins. in am. Harry's mother, bro. & sister 8 friends came and Harry seemed to be very well satisfied. He has seemed so blue. Minnie is "full up" and goes to a meal Tuesday but somehow I can't help but feel that with her temp & sputum it is only temporary vain hope. Mr. & Mrs. L. S. Ford in to see me and so glad to see them.
July 10
Weather: Cloudy
A stiff sore neck all day. Didn't sleep so good last night on account of it. Wilbur Whitten came at 7 pm. and glad to see him. He looks fine. Also Wm Small & Charles Richard.
July 11
Weather: Cloudy
How can I write in a diary when the days are all alike. Just the same daily grind, no visitors, nothing to write about.
July 12
Weather: Clear
Who named the days anyhow and why? They are all alike so why bother to name or date them. It's all the same day after day.
July 13
Weather: Clear
It was fall when I came, With winter on its heels, Then spring passed the same, Now summer--how it feels: So time is slowly drifting And surely all will pass, The dark clouds are lifting We'll be well at last. Then all will be so happy When we again are free To hie away home again Mother, Sister, the boys and me.
July 14
Weather: Cloudy
A day I have looked forward to for a week has come and gone. A sweet but very unsatisfying visit. Always so happy to see her of course, but that awful limit of 30 mins.! It just plain isn't fair or sensible either and I don't care who says different. She is sweet and to me the most lovely of them all.
July 15
Weather: Cloudy
Blank
July 16
Weather: Cloudy
Mr. & Mrs. Gunnoe for a few minutes. Several of Harry's folks. "Pretty Boy" Halstead sent home for courting.
July 17
Weather: Cloudy
Just one more day among many like it.
July 20
Weather: Cloudy
Minnie got another xray but has not heard from it. I'll live anxiously but hopefully until I hear:
July 21
Weather: Cold, rain
Minnie's xray was good and she goes out! That sure sounds good to me! So sweet to have her to visit me tonight! Mr. H.T. Brown and Mr. Myers in today too. Makes a fellow feel good to know they think of him. Laban & Adalyn also twice today. They may take Minnie to Hinton for her things from there tomorrow. I'11 put on extra steam now by relaxing, not worrying and getting well fast.
July 22
Weather: Cldy-cool
Minnie to Hinton & back. Room not ready so will not go out till Wed. J.B. King in at night--his bro, in law here. Laban at 3 pm for an hour.
July 23
Weather: Clear
Visitors J.B. King, wife and Jean-& L. M. Bowling. Leslie looked fairly good but seemed even more serious than ever before. A fine boy and means well for all. Of course I was real glad to have him for a visit. Byrda sent to Raleigh General Hospital last night, may have appendicitis.
July 24
Weather: Clear
EMA check for $200. Mailed tax receipt & letter to Gaskins of HOLC & sent pt. of $33.08 on house.
July 25
Weather: Rain
No visitors-no mail-Minnie sent part of her things out. Lots of fun teasing Harry about proposing to "Cousin Hilda" Sure gets his goat.
July 26
Weather: Cloudy
"Mudder" for her first visit out at 7 pm. I am so happy to have her and it will help me to get well-even after one visit I feel so much happier. I hope she will rest and get well fast and not try to go anywhere or do anything. All I want her to do is stay near and be faithful to visit often. Ruth Johnson and a friend for a few mins.
July 27
Weather: Cloudy
A very, very nice visit by my "girl" and I am beginning to feel that there are really many happy hours ahead even in here. I look forward to her visits and it is already a great source of pleasure and contentment. Carlos Clark a few minutes.
July 28
Weather: Cloudy
"Mudder" and "Sister" both for a very very pleasant hour. I hope they are both real buddies and like it together for it will make it real pleasant for me to have them visit. Weighed 197 1/2..op
July 29
Weather: Cloudy
"Mother " and "Little sister" for another very pleasant night visit. I am so very very happy to have them. It would not be possible for me to express my real happiness at having them.
July 30
Weather: P.C.
About as near a perfect day as a day could be in the San. I suppose, My "Girl" (with a capital G) for one hour and a half in am. A pleasant time. Then Leona, Carl, Mary , Janelle, Leta Mae evening at 3 and Duling for a few minutes after four. It was in all a very pleasant happy day.
July 31
Weather: Clear
Another nice day. Pleasant out on the porch. Then Leona and Mother for pleasant hour at 7 pm. Harry's mother in am for five minutes. Harry got the blues late in the day and a nasty spell of bashfulness. I gave him a good sound lecture at 9 pm and he promised he would brace up and go to the porch in eve. and stay awake and talk some at night.
August
August 1
Weather: Clear
A pleasant day with little of note except a pleasant hour with Minnie and Leona in the pm. It is a real blessing to be grateful and happy about. I feel it will, even is already, helping my feelings. A long letter from E.O.
August 2
Weather: CLoudy
Days grow more and more joyous and filled with hope as they roll alongwith Minnie and Sister for visits. A good long long letter from Danny Stevenson. He is working now and is happy about it all. A blood test by Tommy.
August 3
Weather: Rain
Ruth & Margie Johnson for a nice visit at 3 pm. Leona and "Mudder" at 7 pm. for another pleasant visit. They say San. routine is what cures so I hope these visits become a regular part of that routine. I am so happy they can be with me Often.
August 4
Weather: Cloudy
Wallace, Mable, & Margaret for a good visit and glad to see them all. Minnie & sister also and I guess I can't keep on raving always about being glad they can come, but even if I do stop mentioning it the joy of having them will always continue.
August 5
Weather: Clear
I suppose you would say just another regular day. Very pleasant tho and happy. Just heard today Clyde Clutter died after his Thorocoplasty in Wheeling. I somehow felt he never would return for a large number of those operations are fatal and Clyde was pretty sick tho trouble in only one lung.
August 6
Weather: Cloudy
Lucy, Woodrow B. Malisse S. and Minnie all to make the morn. a very happy one. Then Leona in pm. and Minnie, Leona, and Silas at night to make it far more pleasant. I feel so much better I should heal fast for it is much more pleasant to stay when they can come often.
August 7
Weather: Clear
Immediately after a bath off to exam room for exam by Prof. Ruark. I didn't expect to find out anything of course.
August 8
Weather: Cloudy
Chas. & Mrs Duling at 3 pm and it is sure a real pleasure to have folks like that to visit you. They are so very jolly and friendly. Make a fellow feel good even if he didn't feel so hot. They brought that 23rd Psalm reading and it was so good. Minnie & Leona at night for another pleasant visit.
August 9
Weather: Clear-wind
Off for an xray and Johnny took me to second elevator on second floor, up to 3rd, back for xray room then 3rd to old elevator 3 home. Saw Dr. Gwinn & asked him to come see me when he had read it. Minnie and Leona for a visit at night.
August 10
Weather: Clear
John R-came with Leona at 3 pm and glad to see good steady old John again. No news all day from my xray but Minnie said Dr. G. denied he ever told Mary she could take the boys. Oodles of company at night. John, Minnie, Leona, Byrda, Malisse, Mr. & Mrs. Ashley & Ossie. Not space enough to tell how glad I was to see all of them. The Ashleys had never come and I had been so disappointed in them for I counted them as real friends.
August 11
Weather: Clear
Glory B! Dr. Gwinn at 11 am said my xray was fine and I could get up once a day! Didn't know about the phrenic. I must be careful, extremely so, but I am so happy! John, Lena, Carl & Mary all for a visit Took my first up and it feels funny to walk. A bit top heavy and wobble some as I walk. But I'll get used to it. Minnie & John at night again for a pleasant visit again.
August 12
Weather: Clear
John, Minnie Lee & a friend at 3 pm. John's last visit. Good old John. The same always. He went to Hinton with Carl after 4 pm. Minnie & Leona for a visit at night and this always puts a pleasant touch to the close of the day.
August 13
Weather: Clear
Harry's mother and brothers and Minnie all to make the morning pleasant. Spent the evening on the porch and then at night Anna Mae & Leach as well as Minnie & Leona.
August 14
Weather: Cloudy
Of all unexpected things! John & Lena came at 3. Surely not looking for them. John's Dr. said he needed a rest so he is off for two months. They went on down home after visiting Minnie. Minnie & Leona for a pleasant night visit.
August 15
Weather: Rain
Minnie, Leila, Woodrow John & Lena all at 3 pm. All look well but I persuaded Lee to get an xray. They couldn't find a Dr. so didn't get it. Rev. Billings for a few minutes at 4 pm.
August 16
Weather: Cloudy
Spinks came and I got a hair cut . All else as usual with pleasure of Minnie & Leona at 7 pm.
August 17
Weather: Cloudy
Mr. Walker from "NS" had a bad hemorrhage about 7 am. Tried all day to get his folks. Orderly said he was putting out part of his lungs. Mrs. Darby came for a few minutes at 4 pm. Letter from Lou says the boys are homesick. Minnie & Leona at night, also Christine.
August 18
Weather: Cldy cool
Mr. & Mrs. Russell Foglesong from So. Charleston in for a sur- prise visit and so very happy and glad to have them visit. They had been visiting at Oak Hill and have several members of their church patients here.
August 19
Weather: Cloudy
A glad surprise! The boys came at 3pm. THey both look well but both seem so serious. I guess it is real hard for the boys to do without their Mother, Daddy and home. Minnie & Marshall back for a night visit.
August 20
Weather: Cloudy
Minnie & Marshall again for a morning visit. The boys & Leona went with Rev. Hite to McKendree at 1 pm. Will stay down until Thursday: Minnie for a short visit Sun. nite on account of keeping Indy's baby. No other visitors today.
August 21
Weather: Clear
Minnie off to Hinton with Carl this am. so no visitors today. she will move some furniture so she can keep the boys. I really wonder if they should not board. I am afraid Minnie will not be able to do it all. It will be of all things most terrible if she should break down again.
August 22
Weather: Clear
Walker, from Prince, died this am at 6: 40--another victim of these bugs. Emmett Snedegar at 3 pm. for an hour. A fine boy and glad to have him. Minnie in Hinton yesterday and today and I miss her like everything.
August 23
Weather: Clear
Minnie Lee and Ray came. They are always cheering and welcome company. Minnie also for a few minutes. Got her things moved over from Hinton ok.
August 24
Weather: Clear
Leona phoned and asked to stay down home until John came back. Minnie back for her regular visit. This is always the happiest part of the day and of all company she is the very most welcome and best of all. There is always something to be so grateful for even in such a time as this and above all else I am really grateful for such a good sweet and faithful partner in life.
August 25
Weather: Cloudy
Another day along the way to a cure but nothing of any note to happen. Byrda off for her vacation: The countless days drift on. Nothing to do but rest and I do my part of it. If rest will cure I should get well. Guess it will be a couple of years loss of life with loss of all else as well but I'll bravely face a new start from scratch.
August 26
Weather: Cloudy
John & Lena came from Oak Hill for a very pleasant hour. John says he thinks he will come here for a month or so for a rest. They went on down home to come back next week. Minnie sick & not able to visit at night. Mrs. Clark came to tell me about it.
August 27
Weather: Fair-rain in pm.
Lots of unexpected company- Mr. & Mrs. Simms from South Charleston-—Mr. Vaughn from Hinton, a shop man--Mr. & Mrs. Rice from Princeton. All of them very much unexpected. But I was so glad to have them all to visit us. Marshall came at night with a note that Mother was not able to visit again. Marshall & Joe just returned from Mckendree & left Leona down there,
August 28
Weather: Cloudy
Paid last note at the bank so thank goodness that is done for. Weighed again and now 198 1/2--may get to be a man in size at least--some of these days-- Joe & Mudder at night. Joe seemed happy to be here and Mudder bless her heart is so sweet. Tried my pants on and they like about seven inches of meeting in front.
August 29
Weather: Cloudy
A usual day of little note. My "up" still working fine & no reaction at all from it so far. If only I can keep on getting better I will get out next spring. One never can tell about this disease. Some come here with little trouble and die--others with lots of it get well. I may be in the latter class.
August 30
Weather: Cloudy
Lots of company today Marshall, John & Lena at 3 pm. At night Mudder, Joe, Vansickle, Mamma, Lee, Mona and Sam--a real and cheerful crowd. I'm getting so I like more and more company. It helps a lot to have them to visit.
August 31
Weather: Cloudy
Bath & very good day today. Carl, Mary & Janelle came. Marshall & Mudder at night but had to leave early due to rain and it rained hard at 8 pm. Memoranda A nice place for a blank page-for between the last page and the next one war broke loose in Europe. German armies entered Poland and the corridor and real fighting i started in earnest. Only time will tell what it all will lead to. It is terrible and God grant that it may not. So terrible to destroy life and cities so useless.
September
September 1
Weather: Cloudy
Sept. 1st & soon a year in here will be gone. All has been uncertain but all has gone fairly well these ten months. How I hope another year will find me home again.
September 2
Weather:
Minnie & the kiddies all X-rayed again.
September 3
Weather:
A nice day. Tom Giles at 3 pm and Silas at night. I still feel ok and believe God will heal me and make me able to work again for my family. Bad news. Poor little sister has to go to bed again and can not go to school.
September 4
Weather:
Labor Day so Minnie came in am. for a pleasant visit. Leona was so pleased to hear she won a case of Dr. Pepper and I'm glad for her for she was so very disappointed over going back to bed.
September 5
Weather:
War going on in Europe--I can't go but even then it orieves me to think of men killing each other without cause. I don't see how one man can drop bombs on another's family when he has no feeling for them.
September 6
Weather: Clear
Just a usual day-- My mind somehow dropped back to a few thoughts of just suppose I didn't keep on improving--and I only wish I knew. If I could know I would know better how to plan--If I was to be in here for years as some are I would choose to go out now--live a few months of normal life and die for I don't want to be a burden and hindrance to my family.
September 7
Weather: Clear
There just "aint" anything to write in this book. The days are blank so I guess I should leave the pages blank. I wrote some letters in the past few days asking for help for Duling. I know the boy badly needs it and I know from experience what it means to be disabled.
September 8
Weather: Clear
Days still just drift by. It seems company has dropped off to almost nothing and even letters almost a thing of the past. I don't care only it shows how very soon others forget one who is taken from among them even tho he is still alive. Some of these days I will drop back among the living again-some will be glad, perhaps others sorry for it will be one less job for younger men.
September 9
Weather: Clear
I'll confess I got lazy and away behind. As I write this it is really Sept. 16th and I've forgotten all in between.
September 10
Weather: Clear
A quiet day but with Minnie in am. and at night, of course a lovely day. Mr. Vaughn from Hinton again and glad to see the old fellow.
September 11
Blank
September 12
Weather:
I've forgotten it if it did happen!
September 13
Weather: Clear
Harry for an unexpected xray. Dr Drash here giving phrenics etc.
September 14
Weather: Clear
Carl, Mary, Uncle George & aunt Ella for a nice visit. Harry unexpectedly went for a phrenic nerve operation. Several of them on the floor.
September 15
Weather: Clear
John got a bed & came in here today. Lena went to see if she could get me moved over with John--He's in the new unit.
September 16
Weather: Clear
Another usual day. Pleasant evening hour with "Mother" and she is always so precious sweet and always a great source of strength and joy in a time like this.
September 17
Weather: Clear
All or a lot of Harry's folks came: His mother, grandmother, and brothers. His father died and was buried a week ago but they never told Harry about it. Mr. Finks at night and Mrs. M. C. Clark & Mary Alice Ratliff in pm. And of course good old scout and faithful Minnie twice for visits.
September 18
Weather: Clear
I had been thinking of moving over with John so here I am in 227 in Unit C. It is real nice and I think I will like it a lot. This new unit so much nicer than the old unit was. Mr. Graham & dtr. (sic) today, Glad to see them. Always thought a lot of Mr. & Mrs. Graham.
September 19
Weather: Hazy
Mr. Baker White in this am. I told him the glass in the mirror was wrinkled, causing me to look like I had a roll under my chin. He looked and then a good laugh.
September 20
Weather: Cloudy
The first bath in the new unit and a pleasant day though very gloomy out. Mrs. William Small & William at 3 pm--& Marshall. At night Lena, Mable and Wallace with Minnie for a real pleasant hour with all of them. Enjoying the days with John and we get along fine together.
September 21
Weather: Cloudy
Mr. Clarke over for a short visit at 6 pm. I hope he can move over here when John is gone. I like it here fine-so nice & clean and pleasant. Will be much better when I am full up and the new bathroom opened.
September 22
Weather: Cloudy
September 23
Weather: Clear
Lena, Tom, and John Martin for a visit and on down home in pm.
September 24
Weather: Clear
Mr. Fox from Rainelle, Mrs. Camp & Wm--all around a few minutes. I'm always glad to have friends, but they are and after all so long as Minnie can be well and visit I will be happy. She is so sweet and so cheering all the time and the greatest help of all who come. Silas at night, good old Silas, always faithful. No one will ever know how I loved Minnie tonight.
September 25
Weather: Clear
Just another usual day quietly spent. I feel so much better since getting up and each day gives me more hope of getting on out after a while. After I get full up etc so I can get out now and then with Minnie I will be much better satisfied. It is terrible of course to lose two years work and all you own and your health besides but all we can dodol is salvage what little we can from it all.
September 26
Weather: Clear
Weighed again and even 200 lbs. this time. The Salvation Army leading devotional this week and they are always good. This disability, and the attitude of the church and ministry toward the san. has had a very great influence on my life, almost detroying all faith in them, but we will wait and out of it all will come perhaps a blessing. Who knows?
September 27
Weather: Clear
Carl, Mary & Mr. & Mrs. Babineau in the eve. and then Lena, Lee, Mamma and Woodrow and Bob & Muriel all at night. So good to have them all for a visit. Mamma seemed rather sad and burdened and I guess she has enough to be burdened over.
September 28
Weather: Clear
Wallace, Mable, Mrs. Claypool and Miss Hall all for a visit. Surely an improvement in amount of company in the past week and each visitor helps that much. The boys are selling cards now and it looks like they will do real well at it. Dr Gwinn gave me another up, the second one, today.
September 29
Weather: Clear
Mr. & Mrs. Dat Foster & Lena's sister for an evening visit. Minnie has a cold and will not be able to visit for a few days. I'll miss her for she is always welcome company.
September 30
Weather: Cloudy
Lena, Nell & Estel for a few minutes. Minnie still not able to visit due to a cold. A big shake up in nurses due to the end of the month and I hope we get a better lot.
October
October 1
Weather: Rain
Mrs. Camp & her sister for a few mins. brought Harry a radio. We had no company in am. except Marshall. Minnie is still laid up with a bad cold.
October 2
Weather: Cloudy & Blue
A quiet cloudy & blue day. Several new patients today. Old Olney Lee--boy I was glad to see that fellow, Jolly & good and the same old Olney. Wish I could see fellows like that often. Henry Gwinn came at night and I was glad to see him too but sorry to miss a visit alone with Minnie. She came but has a bad cold and didn't seem so well.
October 3
Weather: Clear
Lena & Minnie at night & Minnie seemed much better. I do hope she can be well. If only all my family can be well it will help me also to have more courage. Filling the front yard & bringing in new patients too now and Bringing: plenty of noise in this unit just now.
October 4
Weather: Clear
A new Dr. on the job today, Dr. Owen. Seems to be a very pleasant fellow and we all like him fine if he keeps up with first impression. Helping the boys now to sell cards and hope we sell a lot.
October 5
Weather: Clear
Lots of work on the lawn today. Listened to Yanks & Reds in World Series. Rec'd the Hectograph and made & mailed 24 letters to sell cards.
October 6
Weather: Clear
A quiet day with little happening. News that Ruth Snedegar was sick. Lena & Minnie to visit.
October 7
Weather: Clear
Boy the company! Lena, Mrs. Claypool, Tom, Mary, Russ & Lou, Leta Mae & a girl friend and Mrs. Williams. Feels good to have a lot of friends around. Minnie went to Renick to see Ruth who is critically ill there.
October 8
Weather: Clear
Minnie came back from RV on no. 3. Ruth still very sick. Rev. Hughes, Henry G. , George G. & others among visitors. Marshall came back from his first sales try and sold a lot of cards. Woodrow & Lee also came.
October 9
Weather: Clear
Marshall gets his job of selling papers in the san, and is more than pleased with it. Woodrow looking for a job but didn't get to see the boss. Just heard that Harry Camp went home. A very foolish thing for him to do.
October 10
Weather: Clear
Ruth still very sick. I guess not much chance for her and it seems a shame. I wonder why those things must be. A lovely girl with all of life before her and yet her life is taken in its bud.
October 11
Weather: Clear
Carl, Mary, & Mrs. Hunter to visit and all seemed cheerful. The kiddies got their two more cases of Dr. Pepper and were pleased of course. A real sweet talk with Mother tonight alone. So seldom I can even tell her I love her and I do miss her so! Minnie's S.S. class sent her a present of $24,50 by Mary.
October 12
Weather: Cool
Blanche, Lena, & Goldie for a pm. visit. Three orders for cards by mail. Henry came again at night with four more card orders.
October 13
Weather: Clear
Ruth died this morn and I hated so to say mother should not go but I am afraid for her to risk it. It seems such a shame for a nice young sweet girl to go. Life is so very strange. Lucy also over at night. Also Marshall and Leona.
October 14
Weather: Clear
More orders for cards coming in and Marshall getting his paper business fixed up so he can handle it. Minnie didn't feel so well and didn't visit me at night. It would help so if I could only be sure she would be ok. & not get back in here. There can not help but be a feeling of anxiety as long as Minnie & Leona are not entirely well.
October 15
Weather: Cold
Mr. & Mrs. Rawlings & Rev. Hughes came. Also Mrs. Claypool & Tom. Dr. Gwinn came and talked for a while and said my Dr. should give me more ups soon. Minnie not feeling so well and seemed rather serious and unusually gloomy all day.
October 16
Weather: Clear
Dr. Owens gave me full ups this morning after I talked to him for a spell. I didn't expect so much at once but don't really think it will hurt me if I take it easy. Creger came at 3 pm. Minnie still complains and does not feel very well. I do wish that cloud could be lifted and both Minnie and Leona could be well. I would not fear the future at all if only they could be safe.
October 17
Weather: Cool
Took my first shower today and boy it is better than a bed bath. Lots of suds and lather and good warm water a real treat. I felt perfectly well and don't think the shower could hurt me.
October 18
Weather: Cear
Mrs. Breeden & Mrs. J. B. King to visit today. They both gave Marshall card orders. I wrote Mr. & Mrs. Mitchem about carrying our home loan. Things don't look so bad in many ways if only Minnie & Leona can get well without coming in here.
October 19
Weather: Clear
A registered letter from Mr. Davenport with a gift of $17.70 from friends at Q'mont. I hope later that we can repay it all to the church for I feel we should really not accept gifts until our own resources are exhausted. Dr. Swinn & Dr. Ryan to see me at night. Both were jolly & seemed to feel I was getting along fine.
October 20
Weather: Clear
One long year ago today I entered this Hospital. Had I known then I was facing a year and more away from home I would have been terribly discouraged. The real dark cloud now is not myself but Minnie & Leona. I do not know what is ahead but can bear most anything if only they can be well. Mr. Pate died this am. First in new Bldg. Knife in lung.
October 21
Weather: Cloudy
Mr. Rocker died 7:30 am. This makes four I know of in a week. Two in this unit. Marshall off to QN to deliver cards.. "Wint" Gwinn from Charleston came and I hardly knew him. Minnie & Lena as usual at night and her visits are best of all but she still complains of not feeling at all well.
October 22
Weather: Windy
Minnie & Lena for a pleasant morning. I am fully convinced now others just do not want to visit but I do not at all care so long as Minnie can come. Mr. & Mrs. Mitchem for a few minutes at 11:30 & they will carry my home loan for me.
October 23
Weather: Clear
Lee & Woodrow with Minnie & Lena at night. Woodrow & Lee going on over to Mcalpin to visit Woodrow's people. Minnie seems much better & I hope she gets entirely well. I feel real well and still very hopeful for a vacation home before so long.
October 24
Weather: Clear
Mrs. Claypool & Tom for a little while at night and I feel sorry for John's mother for I know she would visit more often if it wasn't for Tom acting silly as he does I seem to raise a bit of "speckled" sputum. I hope it is just some more of that calcium deposit. Minnie was so sweet and very precious tonight and I would give anything on earth to go home with her.
October 25
Weather: Windy
I took a tub bath this am and feel very very good, not a bit nervous and feel perfectly strong. I'm planning a visit home before so long and I hope they will let me go.
October 26
Weather: Clear
The days continue to pass slowly but surely and sometime they will have passed. Visitors are very few and I guess there are very few who care whether I get well or not but my family do care and as long as they care and love me then nothing else really matters at all. I love them so much and above all else want them with me all the time.
October 27
Weather: Clear
A fairly gloomy day but another one gone at any rate. Life has been so very different this past year. It will of course change my entire outlook upon life and all will be very different. I realize my outlook has been a narrow one. I realize now that too much of life is more or less hypocritical. Drs. claim to know but are ignorant. Preachers and churches claim to care but do not. Men profess friendship but never offer any proof.
October 28
Weather: Cloudy
John off for home this am. & Clark moved in with me. Sorry to lose John but glad he had no TB. John was a really good room mate and we got along fine. It will be nice tho having Clark here and I know we will get along fine and it will be nice for Minnie & Mrs. Clark to visit together.
October 29
Weather:Cold Clear
Minnie came in am. for a good visit with Mrs. Clark also. No other visitors all day, nice as it was. It only goes to prove one is soon forgotten by friends and even by relatives when disabled and in a place like this. A card order today from Whanger at Durbin for 8 boxes of cards. This adds to the feeling that you can expect more from distant friends than you can from those nearer. A lesson in psychology or "sumpin".
October 30
Weather: Clear
Just a day with little doing. Mudder not able to come visit today but I know what her trouble is so it doesn't worry me. I do miss her a lot tho An order from Whanger at Durbin for 8 boxes of cards. that's a real friend, isn't it? I wish others could do as well too.
October 31
Weather: Clear cold
Minnie back with me again and we plan and hope for a vacation for me and a trip home. It will be a real joy to be with her and the kiddies again. Al1 the women folks around dressed for Halloween and a jolly pleasant eve! A year ago I enjoyed Halloween at Mt. Regis at Salem!
November
November 1
Weather: Clear
Wallace Jefferson moved down from fourth so four up on this floor: Joe was on the radio this pm. in a program school contest and he was pleased over it. His school so I'll have to admit his daddy also feels some pride over it.
November 2
Weather: Clear
3 Owens ate Hooray! permission to go home for a week. Dr. Gwinn, Kelly & Owens all in at once so I asked them all. Dr. Kelly said I was getting too darned skinny! Boy oh Boy will I be glad to go home!
November 3
[All entries for November 3 through November 7 are written crosswise on the diary pages. ] I'll write this crosswise for it is in reverse to all I have been used to in the past year. Dr. Owens said I could walk home and I did. It was a beautiful sunny morn & there was joy in my heart and new spring in my step as I went! I got home about ten forty, surprised Leona. Til came later and then I was home when Minnie came back from town. It seemed like heaven on earth again to talk, laugh and play with all the family around me again. I don't see how it comes for a fellow to feel so good. It was so sweet and good to be with "Mudder" again and she became more and sweet and precious to me daily the whole week. One thing that helped me more than all the others was that Leona and Minnie seemed so well and were taking good care of themselves. I have been so anxious about them and it helped to know just how they were first hand. During the week Carl, Mary, Janelle, Mr. & Mrs. Babineau, Mr. Brockman, Henry & Houston came. Time simply flew by and the week seemed all too short. But then a month, a year, or even a life time at home would seem too short. So few really if any people on the outside know what it means to be in so long. And then I wonder, among those who insist I stay here, how many would really stay? they don't realize in any sense what it means to be away from your family a year and then continue to stay even when you feel perfectly well. But after that two months with Minnie in here I realized that if only she could be well and visit me often I would not care how few my friends were or how little they often understood. For one thing this experience has made me realize that in this life we must be our own boss and rely on ourselves and not too much on others for after all we matter little in the lives of others and are very soon forgotten. It is perhaps better that way. Life would be too drear if we thought too often of the sick and dying in life. But oh! what joy! what real joy! To be home again! To hold Minnie very close and love her so! God was too good when He gave me her. I have never been worthy of such a precious wife! Here it is Friday again. Too bad. Stayed as long as possible and walked back at 7pm. I left off the dates and weather above but who cares about either one when he can be so very happy if only for a week. It was sweet, wonderful and precious to me!
November 11
Weather: Cloudy
The first day back and just a day-that was all. No temp--no loss of weight and feel fine so I hope no ill effects from my trip.
November 12
Weather: Clear
Clark had "oodles" of company. Wish my friends were as faithful. Minnie of course bless her sweet heart, twice today and that all I ask.
November 13
Weather: Clear
Made my first trip to the store today. Also went for an xray.
November 16
Weather: Clear
Back into the old way of things again and used to this monotonous existence again. Letters are few cards few and visitors less. I can't help but compare this birthday with one a year ago. Sick then--not allowed company but had about ten, lots of cards, letters & present. This year one card, no visitors. 0h yes, good precious Minnie with a nice cake. Bless her sweet heart!
November 17
Weather: Smoky
Belated cards from Mamma, Lee & Lena. What is there to write in here about? Just blank I suppose.
November 18
Weather: Smoky
Mrs. Palmer for a few minutes. Sent Mr. Mitchen the first notice of HOL loan for him to pay. All else quiet on my "western front". Minnie always at night & we play checkers, but she says she never feels well so I can never fell secure so long as her health is in doubt.
November 19
Weather: Smoky
Another day gone without a visitor, and it Sunday. I have had a lot to learn since coming here. First I had to learn that churches are not concerned for those who are ill. Second that a man's supposed friends are mostly in his imagination. They do not really exist. It gives me a greater resolve in the future to be concerned for those who are ill and to be a friend to the sick. Life is only what we make it, and to help others helps one more than all else. It is in a sense selfish.
November 20
Weather: Smoky
Just another one of "them thar" days but then it is another one and so long as they pass I am that much nearer home again and happiness. After all Minnie can see me, she and the children seem well and to me that is all that is important in life. All will be well if they can be well.
November 21
Weather: Cloudy
Really gloomy weather these days with our first snow. It will at least put out the forest fires that have been raging all over the country.
November 22
Weather: Rain
Clarke off for home this pm. and a terribly lonely eve. without even Minnie to visit at night. Lots of wrangling about rules but it just doesn't even soak in here at all.
November 23
Weather: Cloudy
The big turkey day and a fine dinner. Carl and Minnie also Leona & Janelle to visit. A pleasant morn. in spite of gloomy wea. Minnie suffering with a swollen sore ankle. Hinton beat Beckley 7 to 6.
November 24
Weather: Cloudy
Dr. Owens examined me this am. said he found no evidence of active trouble whatever. Said I was in good shape and improving- Went to the store and saw Dr. Gwinn there. Spoke to him but he seemed real "snooty", didn't say any thing but just rather scowled and grunted. Darn him and all the rest, a fellow has to get well in spite of them - not because of them.
November 25
Weather:
Al1 quiet on the western front today. A few card orders still sneaking in and adding to the sales already made. About a hundred and ten or so by now.
November 26
Weather: Clear
Mr. & Mrs. Walker from Jumping Branch over today and such nice people. Leona always liked Beatrice so well and they were always such good friends. It is so nice to have friends come and there are so many who could but don't. Well, soon it will all be over. I will be out and they will be telling me they really intended to come.
November 27
Weather: Clear
Orders for cards still coming in--orders from W. C. Houk & Marion Lee & others. Mrs. Clarke's newly married sister & husband visiting them. I'm feeling better all the time and surely feel more hopeful now.
November 28
Weather: Clear
Beautiful weather these days--cool but pretty sunshine & clear moon-lit nights. Woodrow got gas in the house at Hinton last week & I paid him. Also having him to paint the kitchen & fix up other things. All this has to be done sooner or later so had as well have it done now as later.
November 29
Weather: Clear
Dr. Kelly kidded me about being so fat. I told him I measured same as "Berry" and he said "darned if I would tell it", Asked Dr. Owens about meals and he said to go to one Monday--2 Tue & 3 Wed. That's all I want until March, except a visit or so home, then I hope for exercise & if no trouble will look for it to be increased rapidly when started.
November 30
Weather: Clear
This would have been Thanksgiving if FDR hadn't changed it--but what's the difference--you can always be thankful for something. Regardless of all the terrible misfortune of the past year there has been some pleasure--and it all will lead out somewhere somehow and perhaps some day, be fully understood--but if not then it has happened anyway--so there!
December
December 1
Weather: Snow
And so life drifts on and on somewhere-somehow--they say there's "sermons in stones-Books in running Brooks & good in every thing"-perhaps it could be so--who knows--I am sure I do not. Sometimes I wonder about life--its peculiar ways and even why it is at all but there must be a reason. Anyway, in the future life will be more care free and less serious with me. Much of it will be for others, but all of it with less of real care.
December 8
Weather : The boys got their X-rays and seemed to be ok. Also Minnie's now ok so if Leona can do as well all will seem much better. The gas and painting completed at Hinton.
December 9
Weather:
Been playing Rook these nights with Clarke and our wives and enjoy it all very very much. It helps a lot to pass the time altho these visiting hours don't need any rushing.
December 10
Weather: Clear
Leona came for her X-ray but of course have not heard from it yet. A pleasant day today with Leona & Minnie in am. and Rev. Hughes & Bivins in pm. Been in Pinecrest 13 months today.
December 11
Weather: Clear
Card money still comes in, nine dollars more from Woodrow. Soon be too late to sell but we will very likely sell them all that we ordered. It has been a real help to be able to sell so many.
December 12
Weather: Clear
Received the last box of cards today, sooner than we expected. Looks like Luther has them all sold so we will have none left.
December 13
Weather: Cloudy
Bad news today. Leona's X-ray was not so good and they think she should come into the san. She is opposed to it & we may have a hard time to persuade her to come in. I will not force her for that would make her worse. Looks like all the trouble in the world is ours and all at once too.
December 14
Weather: Snow
Talked to Dr. Owens & he says don't send her to Loomis, but of course you would expect any Doctor to say that. Minnie says she thinks Leona will decide to come in the san after Xmas is over, I hope she will take it seriously and heal up her trouble real soon.
December 15
Weather:
This is sure nice weather for this time of the year. It is chilly at night but most days are sunny and cheerful. Xmas cards are beginning already to drift in.
December 16
Weather: Clear
Carl & Mary over all unexpected at night and went over to get their pictures made a few days ago. And oh the fun we had over lost quart of liquor--a fellow brought a quart to a patient- a nurse took it-left in chart room-someone stole it-and oh the fun! We are enjoying playing Rook these days.
December 17
Weather: Clear
Wallace & Mable came Sun. pm. I nearly missed them by going to the office but came back in time to see them. No other visitors over the weekend. Leona more in a humor to come in the san now--she was over at night -I think she will get used to it soon and I hope get well fast.
December 18
Weather: Clear
Went down to see George today and saw him & Dr. Kelly also. They promised me the room on first C for her and also that they would not put an active TB patient in with her. They think she will get along ok.
December 19
Weather:
Still more Xmas cards coming in from hither and yon. Danny Stevenson came tonight and seemed to enjoy watching us play and says he will come often.
December 20
Weather: Clear
Whoopee! The RR boys did come through in good style! One letter with $115.10 for a Xmas present from all the fellows along line. Danny came again and our "Ladies Fair" went with him to a show. Other letters and some more money today.
December 21
Weather: Windy
So terribly windy last night we just could not sleep. Made me nervous after what little sleep we did get. We were disappointed that we could not go home for Xmas but have been trying to forget it all we possibly can. Dr. Owens was real nice about it and told us • we could go weekends etc.
December 22
Weather: Cloudy
Cards, letters and money coming in from all sources. If I never before believed in Santa I would have to now. Real nice weather. Seems to be lots of Xmas spirit and all are looking forward to a pleasant Xmas that is all who are able at all. It is a pity and too bad for those who can expect only death as a present and release from their suffering.
December 23
Weather: Cloudy
Mona writes with a check for $10--John C with MO for $5-Mr. Walker with one for $3--and all have been so very very good. And that O'Connell Gallagher! A $20 bill! If we should look at it that way it certainly pays to help others to get work and encourage them. I don't know how I will ever thank or repay him.
December 24
Weather: Snow
A lovely blanket of snow this morning to make it a perfect Xmas. Carl came over home with a number of gifts and a nice new hat for me. Dangerous driving these days. Mr. & Mrs. Ford in the afternoon and a nice shaving set for Xmas & a box of candy. They are surely nice folks. All have been so very very nice to us.
Xmas Day December 25
Weather: Clear- snow on ground
A very very pleasant and happy Xmas day even in the san. All the family over for a pleasant morning visiting hour and they all seemed very very well pleased with all their presents. All the family and Mrs. Clarke went to George Ballard's for a lovely dinner and visited again in the pm. Danny Stevenson was over at night and we had a nice pleasant chat.
December 26
Weather: Clear
"Joe" got to go home today and I was real glad he did. It will be a bit lonely but I will follow him about Saturday. Nothing new or very exciting today, back to usual routine I guess. Minnie at night and I thought she was very very unusually sweet and attractive. She is always sweet to me tho at all times.
December 27
Weather: Snow
Terrible wind all night and kept me awake. Still very windy and snow this morning• All the radio singers from WJLS were over tonight but I was lazy and didn't go down. Some pretty heavy snow today but it didn't seem to add much to the amount on the ground.
December 28
Weather: Cloudy
Still windy and snow on the ground. Weather too bad to expect any visitors but they hay proven without any question that they are friends. It is peculiar though that so few have visited me here.
December 29
Weather:
Asked the Dr to let me go home. He hesitated on account of the weather but finally agreed I could go for a week. So off home at 3 pm. It is surely nice to be home after so many many months away. A year or more in the san gives me a very different outlook on life. What once seemed important now looks silly, and small matters take on a new aspect of seriousness.
December 30
Weather:
At home these days and perfectly and wonderfully happy but I will not write altogether of this but of thoughts that are mine from new experience. I am convinced that we often suffer from trying to be one thing when we really are another. For example, preachers and church people would often have one believe that their feeling for others is great, and yet by their lives they prove this is untrue. Thinking along another line I believe one should be perfectly frank in all things and perhaps use less of diplomacy in dealing with others which is in one sense deceit. Due to this experience I will no doubt be far more of a real Christian than ever, but very likely less inclined to be a real church "fan" far more plainly spoken in matters of religion but less inclined to feel that others should agree with my own viewpoint. After all there are as many different views in life as there are different people and each perhaps as honest and good as the other. My Resolves for 1940 will be only two and very brief, based on experiences of the past year: Resolved: 1st To be perfectly honest and frank with every one, regardless of what they think, and to accept and believe only that which I feel is sincere & honest. 2nd To seek in my own way through personal service to do what my feeling dictates as best, and calmly and hopefully face the future with confidence.